This time....

to "one winged angel"...Habis manis sepah dibuang...like fruit, Im just now a garbage for you to throw...thanks, sugoku benkyou ni natta...;)
I just want u to understand that perhaps if I saw you then my aura will be pitch black and covering the whole world...and unleash the Doomsday out of me...and this is taking time...I dont know until when...so bare with that...dont be faint...I am trying not too...but here I am just trying to tell the worst case...;)

Anyways, I got some serious problem now...I should have submitted my thesis yesterday, and I just totally ignore it...keep on being myself who is arrogantly having a special kind of standard...not knowing that my position actually is the inferior right now...

I dont know, my mind just stuck right now...I couldnt think of continuing this...but to think the sacrifice being made...what should I say to dad...to sister...to mom...and all of mu colleagues that helped me throughout the process...?
What I hope is that I will be given chances again...to continue my work...and finish before this holiday even...(dont say it Van...or else you are not going to do it...)...ganbarou Ivan...ganbarou...!

I come to think that why this become gruesome besides combined with my Thesis problem...that "OWA" is playing with the most sensitive of what Human have in mind...regarding raison d'etre...existency...and playing with it...perhaps Im just curious, why is it you heavily resisting to not see me integrated...?
Its not because love or anything like it...because you are forcing things that perhaps will occur in the future, and perhaps in a worst degree of scale than what you are facing right now...which force you have to integrate me...and what my intention is that I dont want to make you to experiance this forced way to understand me...

But if it is your choice to erase me...than I just had to create the balance right...?
Like I always do...do the balance thing...

Da kara...kono jikan kara, itsu made wakaranai toki ni...watashi kara mireba...anata no inochi ga shimechatta...